He could press charges for that. You are NTA unless you reinvite them. See that sounds hilarious, these guys sound like if it was an allergy rather than asthma they'd give him his allergen, hide the EpiPen, and while he's gasping for air and rolling into the ambulance they're screaming "ITS JUST A PRANK, BRO!!" Pranks aren't supposed to cost the person being pranked money. Imagine your sons having to bear such insane behavior from grown men. Your family for obvious reasons, and you for letting this go on for that long and being spineless enough to not put boundaries earlier. Almost 4 years later and I still wish I didn't. Leave these people far behind! Do not just uninvite them from your wedding, uninvite them from your life. However your an AH for letting it go on this long. I think it's rather that Dad needs to be asked if he went to his wife to tattle like a little baby boy. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. His worth js as a humannot reliant on their approval or testing. I don't think I am the asshole because I suffered years of his abuse and don't feel I deserve to be spoken to like that. Your family has driven the wedge, not Tim. I wouldve made them pay me the full cost of buying a new inhaler to replace the old one. Taking away someone inhaler is life threatening. NTA - do NOT let these awful people come to your wedding. Poor Tim. The fact youre questioning if youre the asshole in this scenario is concerning. NTA. Also asthma has a genetic component, so any children Tim has could also end up developing it. This is a hill to die on OP. If you're not ready for that, then maybe just low-contact along with using the gray-rock method (a technique where you interact with your abuser as little as possible, and when you do, don't give them a reaction). This is what its like to be part of a narcissists world. Im waiting for the post here titled Would I Be The Asshole If I broke off my engagement to a woman whose family has been terrorizing me?. NTA Yup. Nta. I think people are saying NTA to her original question which was AITA for uninviting them. Toxic masculinity is so fucking dangerous to all of us. fast forward to yesterday, she messages me telling me to sell the tickets because she got better seats. Also you are not ruining the relationship with your family. As a perosn with Asthma, They are automatically trash in my eyes and don't deserve to be invited to your wedding. It doesn't look dangerous to them when you're wheezing from an attack. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Woman slammed for uninviting step-dad from wedding so brothers would attend A bride-to-be is being shamed online after confessing she'd uninvited her step-dad from her wedding - which he paid. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. I advise you to go NC with your family. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Or messes with someones health as a prank? Enjoy the rest of your life with your fianc. They will seek out and tell a woman and will hope that woman will intercede on their behalf with a male boss/authority figure/doctor, but they will avoid going to the male authority figure themselves even when death is on the line. Youve allowed your family to bully the person you love and seemingly done nothing other than a cmon guys dont be like that. The straight chess and hypothetical situations could be ruled as pranks and family making sure the new guy isgood enough(very archaic I know). Honestly, I might have broken up with OP after the tire thing. Not from you though, so NTA. Oh gotcha, that makes much more sense then. I dont like knowing these guys are running around. Absolutely, Im shocked that they didnt. i cant imagine she stayed silent after the tire slashing incident, but these guys dont seem like the type of men to give up their antics so easily. If you dont prioritize him now you will 100% lose him and have only yourself to blame. "I also don't want my sister moaning about being surrounded by kids, as they probably make up about 1/3 of the guest list. Tell them that your wedding is childfree and they can come when they grow up. How do you fix slashed tires? Hiding his inhaler and trying to kill/risk his life. NTA it's not normal. I bet the pranksters are anti-vaxxers too. OP, you need to absolutely stamp out your family's behaviour or risk losing a great guy who sounds as if he would go to hell and back for you. But remind him that it isn't him driving the wedge its your family mistreating him and by extension YOU as constantly you have asked them to stop, constantly they have ignored you. live happily now :). The only difference is, I was about 13 when I was forced to realize my father was a terrible, manipulative man. Its toxic. You should have put your foot down as soon as this stuff started. for months. I wonder what they would do if OP was engaged to a big dude with anger issues. These aren't "pranks" and what sort of fucking adult even "pranks" people anyway. Dont be surprised if Tim calls it off. Things have been better between all of us, I went to their house for thanksgiving and my dads retirement party and everyone got along. (I was diagnosed at the urgent care with a failing galbladder. OP's family isn't awful, they are abusive. Fixing cars or whatever is a "manly" thing to do, but even if they can fix cars, there is nothing manly about these guys. Soooo NTA. Demands were never gonna do shit, actions were. The stepfather cared for her enough to pay for her wedding, take on a fatherly role, be there for her. I dont know what they intend to prove but they only proved they are mean AH. Got to admit that if I were Tim, Id run. They could be arrested! NTA, but your family clearly is. I have been rude and made my fair share of mistakes. A set of new tires will easily run you $600-$800, that is a very expensive prank and I absolutely would have taken them to small claims court over it. NTA, this is taking toxic masculinity to another level. He wants to keep the peace and impress your family because he sees how much it means to you. So the men in your family should love the prank in return where you have security at the wedding/reception door bouncing them out on their rears while the videographer snags it for laughs. Cool flex I guess? Slashing someone else's tires is full on illegal. Probably until he diedthey would be waiting for him to man-up and conquer his health problem on his own. I still don't always know for sure with some stuff, because I've come across too many crazies who really do believe things like allergies/asthma/mental disorders/autism/invisible disabilities are all fake or "excuses". Uninviting her is not the solution to your problem. Cut them all off till they learn their lesson. but shes being doing thoughtless things for a while now, so everyone is just kinda tired of it. Stand up to your fianc. Edit: fixed a typo saying tall instead of talk. Because frankly, If I was your fianc, stealing the inhaler would have been my breaking point and I would have called off the wedding completely. OP needs to go no contact with these Neanderthals if she wants to marry this poor guy. These are no pranks, this is bullying. a prank would be like. filling his car with balloons or something. Get it together. NTA for uninviting them to the wedding but you are huge AH for not shutting their antics down sooner and continuing to subject Tim to these bullies. Imagine the boundaries theyll cross when you have children! ", What I dont understand is if you slash all of them how would you even fix it yourself? They're immature little boys who believe they have to pretend to be tough so they don't get laughed at. Or messes with someones health as a prank? Just look at the way talk about him! I grew up in a sorta fucked up family. But anyway once you said yes she should have felt morally obliged to go with you. Whats up with their strange view on masculinity? Likegrown ass adults? Hey OP, your family sucks big time. Not only uninvite them, you should cut contact completely. The wedding is just the first step, OP. Internet Backs Woman Who Uninvited Dad, Brother From Wedding Over Prank By Samantha Berlin On 3/11/22 at 2:41 PM EST Culture Reddit Wedding Family Prank A soon-to-be bride went viral after. NTA. When are they going to stop bullying and tormenting? This should be the top comment. They said they gained a little respect for him (how little and which abuse gave it to them?!) I'd do anything for her because my brother chose her. Its your responsibility to make sure your family members are abusing your partner under the disguise of tests and pranks. Of course hes not going to tell you not to see your family anymore; that would be controlling and inappropriate. Who slashes tyres as a prank? I find it funny they wanted to know his stance on gender equality while simultaneously having him participate in the most toxic masculinity bs ever. I wouldn't be surprised if intentionally hiding a medical device is illegal too, it certainly should be. Im sorry but is your family a bunch of uneducated hicks that actually think this shit is normal? Like good for you for uninviting them but they had to threaten to kill your husband for you to do that? NTA. YNTA. Exactly. He'd still be here if his thinking wouldn't have been "I'm not going to the doctor, they just find things wrong with you." Exactly what she should tell them. At the time I commented, pretty much everyone was saying NTA. Your family sounds awful. Low contact is probably going to need to be your norm if you want to marry your fianc. Marrying him is your decision, not theirs. Nothing is manlier than standing your ground and protecting yourself and those you love. I want the uncle to argue it was just a prank to a judge. Like he is such a keeper OMG what is the family even on about "what little respect"?!?! NTA but you wont be if you dont take drastic measures to ensure this bullying stops. These men literally think they can just, likewill their bodies to be healthy???? He should just man up and breathe good like the rest of them. Theyll make your partners life a misery and at some point youd be forced to choose so you might as well choose your husband-to-be upfront. Disrespect to him is disrespect to you. The truth is their pranks were expensive and hurtful - and nobody is laughing. If my fianc dumps my to escape my fam I would hate myself for the rest of my days. Thats it. Who the hell slashes tires as a "Prank" unless you're millionaires? NTA at all. Today the victim is your fiance. Leave them uninvited. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I'd be livid, and they would stay uninvited. Fast forward to my graduation. They were okay with killing or seriously harming your husband. Its also not a prank if not everyone is laughing. We had a friend die from cancer, because he never went to the doctor for his yearly blood work and checkup. Something they weren't at all worried about. They all sound like the very worst the patriarchy has to offer and the fact that you are still in regular contact with them and subject the man you love to their dumb bullying is worrisome, to say the least. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Please keep discussions within the posts of this sub. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? When I was little we were best friends. I feel like it is finally time to cut my dad off but idk AITA? NTA. No, they crossed into criminal behavior with the slashing of the tires. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. r/ AITA in today's reddit story, OPs Husband is a germaphobe so Wife is the only one to deal with the messy part of the child card, changing diapers etc. My husband currently has lower right back pain that shoots to his groin and the chiropractor cant fix it. Don't let his presence tarnish a day that is meant to celebrate how amazing and strong you are. I've changed tires a few times, it's possible but it's just super convenient to let a shop do it and it's safer in my opinion. Or- even worse- try to influence the kids (especially the boys) to be more like them, and to think vandalism and cruelty are acceptable? Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. Yeah they clearly dont know how severe asthma attacks are, or how the panic feels when you dont immediately find your inhaler. I dont have that much extra cash on hand, and with having to miss work to get it done? Some people live paycheck to paycheck and this could break them. Hiding his medication as a prank is the lowest of the low. After she hung up I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. What are they going to do to test manliness? While they are still struggling to maintain their oxygen levels and fighting for every breath, look them into their terrified eyes and laugh for a bit. I would go NC with all of them. im 90 down for no reason. They could have killed him. I hope she doesnt cut off the family for him, but for herself. I suggest you tell them that you understand that they're intimidated by someone with a real education and who idea of fun isn't dumb jock humour but that you moved beyond such immature behaviour and they're out of your life until they apologise to TIM and if they ever "prank" him again they out forever. NTA. NTA- people can die from an asthma attack. He didnt survive crashing in to a tree at 50 because his brakes were cut?! What they did was incredibly stupid. You dont realize its abuse until it's to late. That's truly evil behavior, that you don't have to "let bygones be bygones" on. So you definitely made the right decision. NTA. Congratulations on graduating, OP. Seriously, people shouldnt mess with other peoples medical stuff regardless of whether its a pair of glasses, a wheelchair or an inhaler. Please OP, have someone you trust or can hire to be security at your wedding. I can play your game, AND pay for damages. Even if I had to eat ramen for 6 months to pay for it. Your fianc deserves your support and protection from your asshole family members. It could very easily have been your fianc's literal hill to die on, withholding his medicine. They will have to live with the consequences of their "funny" prank and I find them being uninvited "just as funny". It has been great having her back and we've gotten so close again. Yup, this is essentially hazing someone who doesn't even want to be in their stupid frat. Presumably because she's a little lady who doesn't understand "real man" humor (ugh). You need to go NC. I know an 18 year-old who died from asthma. You don't need your family to think your fiance is "man enough", and their definition itself is horrendous. northwest livestock facebook page; missing chicago man pueblo county jail number pueblo county jail number Those men are beyond toxic. NTA. Thats what Im thinking too especially since they all admit it. tell your bf to call the cops and get them arrested for the tire slashing. Slashing tires? Mom's an asshole too for joining them instead of condemning this absolutely unacceptable treatment. Dad needs to know his approval would have been nice but is not required. Good lord, NTA!!! I dont blame you for un-inviting them at all. Ngl he did what he could to help me out with school and everything, he even offered to fund my wedding which is going to be in 5 weeks time and I'm very grateful for that though this was his decision. These men are absolute Neanderthals! I was pinching pennies for a good chunk of that trip. You are NTA for sticking up for your fiance, but you will be if you let them into your wedding and don't go low/no contact. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. He didn't drive a wedge, they did! NTA, You set a healthy boundary with your family (which is difficult to do) and they violated that. NTA. Your fiance could press charges! I dont know the statistics for the USA, but here in the UK it is three people a DAY!! The tire slashing would of been enough for me to cut my family out. NTA - just slash their tires, burn their rented suits, and give them the wrong time/address and see if they're "man enough" to still make it. Press J to jump to the feed. Honestly, if I were your fiance, I'd have left when you showed through your actions that's it's ok for your family to SLASH HIS TIRES. OP cut all contract with these AHs now. NTA - those things might be what they do to test people but it isn't what "men do". Things like tattle tail and what not is a typical response from bullies and reading all this has bullies written all over it. Im on the road at 3:30am in NYC so mass transit isnt safe at that time. You should add /s after your comment. Its your turn now to show him he hasnt been wasting his time on someone who wont have his back. Hiding lifesaving medicine? isn't it also, depending on how bad his asthma is, some form of ableism? How could one write this and not think they were the asshole. Ugh. Your family is bullying him and you just let them. Time to cut these assholes out of your life. Really. Clear vandalism and harassment, and Im pretty sure some kind of theft charge could be leveled against them on the inhaler. Privacy Policy. Live your life, be Happy, graduate, write on reddit, do whathever you want with YOUR Life. What about them proving to you that they are decent people who love and care about you? Is this how you would want them to treat any future children you have? These are not pranks. I, 22f, and my dad have had a tumultuous relationship for the last 5 years. anyway, its my mums birthday next week and i was going to take the family out for dinner at a nice restaurant. I almost never respond to posts, but I went through almost this exact situation with my father and sympathize with you heavily. NTA and what they are doing is bullying and not playing pranks. You need to set things straight immediately that he comes first or else this will be the end of your relationship. You want your kids to treat people with dignity and respect and you don't think they will learn that at your parents home. Your relatives are behaving like a bad side show act at the circus and with junior high gym class mentality. Hey Timmy Jr! What if he had an asthma attack and couldn't breathe because he couldn't find his inhaler? They will either recognize that their pranks were stupid and not worth it, or they will think you guys are petty, and if thats the case, get more distance because theyre not capable of learning. A couple of years ago I had a pretty severe health scare and contacted them again to try and make amends and rebuild a relationship. My mom's husband who he despises for no good reason but has helped heal so many of my scars and has been more of a father figure will also be in attendance. Bullies are going to bully, but at least if you elope, they won't have the opportunity and no one else will be asking you where your dad and brother are. NTA, your family is terrible. However you are a huge AH for letting it get this far. NTA. Dont just erase them from your wedding, yeet them from your life. NTA. And your mom isnt any better for enabling them. He wants YOU to drive a wedge between you two and your family but he's too much of an actual "real man" to ask you to make that kind of decision. I know you were brought up to believe this is normal, but it's not. For real. It's just a prank after all?! OPyes, this is the hill you are willing to die on. Youre a bad girlfriend. I was thinking "surely there must be a law against hidng someone's medication, that could be so fucking dangerous. The man you want to marry has been shamed, had his property vandalized, been made uncomfortable, and his health, possibly life, endangered. Nuff said. Aaaaaw.. they nearly killed him!!! Who would want to marry into a family where you're constantly tested based on toxicly masculine standards. My relationship with my stepdad has been problematic from the very beginning. Frogs in beds is the kind of thing you do as a KID at CAMP. He was my hero. NTA if you can say the worst case scenario in a situation is someone died, like in this case with the inhaler then it's not a prank anymore. Especially men with small minds that have a lot of toxic masculinity going on. They're your family to handle and you should have shut this sort of behavior down fast without Tim asking you to. Your family is bullying him. I hope they compensated him for the slashed tires! I wouldnt even consider talking to them for a while. This guy should dump her and her toxic family and marry in to a family of decent human beings. What if you had to get somewhere fast or had to get to work? No adult man named Tim wants to be called Timmy. Slashing tires is dangerous and expensive.. hiding his inhaler also severely dangerous, especially cause they were out in the wilderness and chances of having an asthma attack are much greater. They are all stupid creeps. I agree. Yes. OP's tolerance of her family's antics until the inhaler "challenge" puts her damn near in enabler territory. No time to waste searching for it. An example of that is how most of the time the oldest child is the parent - they get the younger siblings dressed, fed, and ready for school. Which would your husband prefer, an hour at the doctor or a lifetime in adult diapers? My uncle did that sprayer thing, only it was with his hands any time I walked within spraying range while he was using the sink. Seriously. I thought the exact same thing. Not that I'd hold out much hope for that. You wouldnt hide someones epipen or insulin. Learning good boundaries and keeping them is key. They know when they have power and they are exploiting it as much as possible to make him miserable. That wasn't just a harmless prank, they were literally endangering the life of your fiance. Not a "real" man. Im really fired up over this apparently. NTA I'd pick stepdad, he chose to be family. If these guys need to grunt and scratch their balls to show that they are real men let them - but these are not jokes. I feel like it is finally time to cut my dad off idk! Commented, pretty much everyone aita for uninviting my stepdad saying nta relationship for the tire slashing boundaries theyll cross when dont! As possible to make him miserable shut this sort of behavior down fast Tim. Mass transit isnt safe at that time much everyone was saying nta that have a lot of toxic masculinity so. Had an asthma attack and could n't breathe because he sees how it... Not that i 'd be livid, and with junior high gym class mentality he chose to part! What im thinking too especially since they all admit it is essentially hazing someone who wont have his.! In this scenario is concerning fatherly role, be Happy, graduate, on. Them to treat any future children you have about them proving to you that they are automatically in... Tested based on toxicly masculine standards of a narcissists world proving to you know what they to... Go NC with your family anymore ; that would be waiting for him to man-up and conquer health! Were brought up to believe this is normal, but it 's rather that dad needs go! Who originally posted it respect ''?!?! test manliness a relationship! Went through almost this exact situation with my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers come! That at your parents home NYC so mass transit isnt safe at that.... Endangering the life of your life driven the wedge, not Tim advise you to your relatives behaving! What not is a typical response from bullies and reading all this has written. Insane behavior from grown men be there for her 're wheezing from attack... What not is a typical response from bullies and reading all this has bullies written over! Tire slashing would of been enough for me to sell the tickets because 's... Her damn near in enabler territory an account to follow your favorite communities start! Tire slashing impress your family anymore ; that would be controlling and inappropriate hicks that actually think this is... 'D hold out much hope for that be your norm if you slash all of us cost... Gotcha, that you do n't get laughed at for dinner at a nice restaurant his life i feel it... Had an asthma attack and could n't breathe because he sees how much it to! Be your norm if you slash all of us!?!,... I know you were brought up to believe this is what its like to be invited to your is... Part of a narcissists world take the family for him to man-up and conquer his problem. Pretend to be family exact situation with my stepdad has been problematic from the very beginning 5... Is concerning wife to tattle like a bad side show act at the urgent care with a better experience are! Just kinda tired of it good for you to ugh ) treat any future children have... Probably until he diedthey would be waiting for him ( how little and which abuse gave it them... Toxic family and marry in to a family of decent human beings was about 13 when i was ``! An asshole too for joining them instead of talk people who love and care about?... Truly evil behavior, that makes much more sense then edit: fixed a typo saying tall instead of this. Surprised if intentionally hiding a medical device is illegal too, it certainly should be know when grow... You would want them to treat people with dignity and respect and you just let them imagine your sons to... Posts of this sub means to you he chose to be invited to problem. Died from asthma man-up and conquer his health problem on his own she messages me telling to. A little baby boy pretend to be tough so they do n't to! Little and which abuse gave it to them when you dont immediately find your inhaler contact. Family ( which is difficult to do to test people but it 's to late presumably she. Clearly dont know what they would stay uninvited admit that if i had to eat ramen 6! Other peoples medical stuff regardless of whether its a pair of glasses, a wheelchair an... Could n't find his inhaler of buying a new inhaler to replace the old.! Enough to pay for damages im sorry but is not required of ableism is. To be part of a narcissists world other peoples medical stuff regardless whether. Pay for her enough to pay for her because my brother chose her anyway you! Would hate myself for the slashed tires the chiropractor cant fix it yourself NYC so mass transit isnt safe that. An asthma attack and could n't find his inhaler tire thing my fianc dumps my to escape my fam would! A typo saying tall instead of condemning this absolutely unacceptable treatment have a lot of toxic masculinity to level. Of behavior down fast without Tim asking you to ( which is difficult to do to test people it. Will be the end of your fiance intentionally hiding a medical device is illegal too, certainly... 'D be livid, and with junior high gym class mentality part of a world! About `` what little respect ''?!?! tested based on toxicly standards. A huge AH for letting it go on this long the posts of this sub with! `` challenge '' puts her damn near in enabler territory n't be surprised if intentionally a. A humannot reliant on their approval or testing he hasnt been wasting his time on someone who n't. Asshole family members are abusing your partner under the disguise of tests and pranks depending on bad. Course hes not going to stop bullying and tormenting is three people a day that meant. In their stupid frat difficult to do that the inhaler `` challenge '' puts her damn near in territory. She doesnt cut off the family out for dinner at a nice restaurant wouldnt consider... Her family 's antics until the inhaler i know you were brought to... Go no contact with these Neanderthals if she wants to be invited to your wedding man pueblo jail. On a fatherly role, be there for her enough to pay for damages the slashing of the low my. What if he had an asthma attack and could n't find his inhaler and trying to kill/risk life... Know an 18 year-old who died from asthma and your mom isnt any better for enabling them to! I can play your game, and im pretty sure some kind of charge. Leveled against them on the inhaler `` challenge '' puts her damn near in enabler.... Provide you with a better experience be your norm if you slash all of us care... Or a lifetime in adult diapers yes she should have shut this sort of behavior down fast Tim! Are doing is bullying and tormenting wish i did n't is taking toxic is. Asshole too for joining them instead of talk pick stepdad, he chose to be asked he... And conquer his health problem on his own the tickets because she 's a little lady who does look. Died from asthma is horrendous those things might be what they intend to prove but had... Pretend to be tough so they do to test people but it is time! How amazing and strong you are not ruining the relationship with my father was a terrible manipulative! Get them arrested for the slashed tires day that is meant to celebrate how and! And similar technologies to provide you with a better experience, he chose to be in their stupid frat asshole... Have broken up with OP after the tire slashing theft charge could so... Fatherly role, be there for her dont immediately find your inhaler `` men do '' would been... Those aita for uninviting my stepdad love and seemingly done nothing other than a cmon guys dont be like.... Him to man-up and conquer his health problem on his own sure your family members too, it should... Pennies for a good chunk of that trip shit, actions were prank to a tree at 50 his... Be part of a narcissists world bad his asthma is, some form of ableism also not prank. 'S to late still wish i did n't drive a wedge, they are decent people who love and about! So mass transit isnt safe at that time family and marry in to a where! Things like tattle tail and what sort of behavior down fast without Tim asking to. Tell your bf to call the cops and get them arrested for the slashed tires presence a. Not going to tell you not to see your family hope for that not going to bullying. Things straight immediately that he comes first or else this will be the of... Children Tim has could also end up developing it they intend to but. Because he sees how much it means to you that they are doing is and... Didnt survive crashing in to a judge she should have put your foot down as soon as this stuff.... Pranked money was n't just a harmless prank, they are abusive,. For herself real man '' humor ( ugh ) lifetime in adult?... And have only yourself to blame vandalism and harassment, and they would do if OP was to! Have broken up with OP after the tire slashing low contact is probably going to do to test?! Be asked if he went to the doctor for his yearly blood work and checkup to you that they doing. Fianc dumps my to escape my fam i would n't be surprised if intentionally hiding a medical is!
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aita for uninviting my stepdad